When my oldest son was a small child he had the uncanny ability to see some opportunity, however small, in the negative events that came his way. He would describe the bad thing, then, like clockwork he would suffix his statement with “…but the good thing is…” It would go something like, “Dad, the arm broke off my Spider-Man today, but the good thing is that he can still fight with one arm!” These statements were always a source of amusement to me. Now I see them as something more. Something we can all learn from.
Not every kid is as blatantly optimistic as my son was as a little guy. Most kids, however, do seem to bounce back from adversity faster than their adult counterparts. I haven’t studied this in any exhaustively formal way, but I’m pretty sure I know why.
One of the benefits of their many fewer revolutions around the sun is that they have not been conditioned by the world about the lack of possibilities. Where we see roadblocks borne out of years of experience in the “real world,” they use the power of their imagination to dream, or scheme up possibilities. Why do I think they have it more right than we do?
As we grow we go to school. We are told to “line up and shut up.” Don’t fidget, don’t doodle, don’t be a problem. We are taught what it means to comply with the rules so that we can make someone a good employee someday.
We finish our education and start our career. We are shown how to interview and land our first job. We are given a job description to let us know our boundaries. We are given goals to perform against so that we know what is expected. We accomplish most of the goals in most of our jobs and enjoy continued success and advancement.
Then the downturn hits. Our jobs get “downsized away” and for the first time in years, we are faced with a challenge that is not within the parameters of our job. We fall back on our training and move ahead into a structured job search, perhaps with outplacement assistance. “Get your resume together, work on your elevator speech, contact your network” we are advised. But we miss the first thing we should do. We miss it because we grew up.
The first thing we should do is take some time to dream about the possibilities. Give yourself permission to take some time to figure out how to twist this bad situation into something very, very good. Maybe you need to get back in touch with the “you you were,” before you became the “you you are.” Perhaps this situation presents you with the opportunity to do that thing you always wanted too, but were afraid to try. Maybe you can do it, maybe you can’t. But for sure, you can think, and dare I say dream about the possibilities.
Is there a good thing waiting for you?