In a recent article, I talked about the importance of the words we speak. How they have the potential for an indelible impact, either positive or negative. Almost equally important to the words we choose is the manner in which we deliver them. Our non-verbal cues have the potential to round up or down the effectiveness of our communication, based on a series of subtle and not so subtle messages.
The most important of these cues is our facial expression. If our eyes are “the window to the soul,” then our face is the “medium of our message.” Unless you are a world class poker player, you should assume that your face reflects what you are thinking and how you truly feel about a topic. If you are ambivalent about your message, or worse do not agree with it, know that your facial expression is likely to betray your real feelings and leave your audience with a mixed message.
In the same way, the positioning of your body tells a story as well. Fidgeting and squirming are sure-fire confidence busters. Sitting to one side, arms folded across the chest, staring at the ground and playing with things all convey a lack of engagement, authenticity and credibility. Beware these message busters, especially if they are habitual and not grounded in real internal conflict. They are simply noise getting in the way of a message you believe in.
If you are in the situation of having to communicate a message around which you are unsure, you may as well be truthful and fess up your ambivalence. We live in a world full of uncertainty. Just because you might be a manager, parent, teacher or coach, doesn’t mean that you always have to have a definitive answer. Being honest about your conflict may help bring about a better approach.
Sometimes you may be in the unfortunate circumstance where you have to be the purveyor of bad news. The kind of information that you can not possibly feel good about, but is otherwise unavoidable. In these situations, know that your body will be sending a message of your struggle. Do not make excuses or blame others. Just do what you need to do, but with professionalism and compassion.
Being aware of the messages that your body sends is an important step in ensuring the effectiveness of your communication and your credibility as a communicator.