My friend Ed passed away last week. He was 69 years old and leaves behind a beautiful family, replete with a loving wife, two fine adult children and three grandchildren. While we hadn’t spoken in a few months and have not seen each other for a couple of years, I felt his loss profoundly. At first I did not know why. Then it occurred to me.
You see, Ed did not start out as my friend. He was actually an employee that I inherited in a job I took as a VP in a new company. “Great,” I thought, “here I am in this new company trying to make a name for myself, and I get this old guy whose best days are behind him.” I was 37 and Ed was 57. He had a lot of experience and seemed like a pretty smart guy, but he sure liked to talk a lot. Mostly war stories about the job and and the old days. I told myself that I did not have the time to listen. But for some reason, despite my “type A” personality and near obsessive need to get things done, I somehow found myself doing just that.
Once I started to listen, I began to understand. Ed’s stories had a consistent theme. Despite the circumstances or particulars of any situation, he always came back to the importance of relationships. Ed was a labor relations guys, for whom relationships were his stock in trade. Relationships with the unions, his boss and most importantly, his family. Funny thing is, he dealt with all of them the same way, with candor, plain-spokenness, laughter and a twinkle in the eye.
He could have taken the intimidation route. As an ex-military policeman with a barrel chest, he could easily have leveraged his physical presence to his best advantage. But he never did. He relied instead on the power of connection. Of knowing someone, deeply and genuinely and showing it with both words and deeds.
In an era of “results-first” business sentiment, he was both behind the time and ahead of the curve. He was able to get things accomplished leveraging the power of his relationships that I could never have achieved with a compelling business case and razor sharp analytics.
I am eternally grateful that Ed took the time to teach me about the power of relationships. I have never forgotten his lessons, embroidered in interesting and funny stories from the past. I said goodbye to him the other day, at a funeral service over-flowing with family, friends, foes and fellowship.
Matt – this is both a sad yet compelling post. It seems the world needs more people like Ed. What a great way to be remembered: “he was both behind the time and ahead of the curve.”
Matt,
Thank you for sharing and keeping Ed’s work alive.
Paul
Matt:
Thanks for sharing… thought provoking and inspiring to someone like me who places such an emphasis on the “work” part of my life. We’ll never be remembered for how much work we do; rather its the relationships we build that create memories that last a lifetime.
Mark
I found this wonderful post by setting up a Google Alert for “power of connection,” and I’m so glad I did. This is a powerful testimony to those values that never go out of style.
One of the fascinating ironies of the social media revolution is that those who are doing it best and most effectively are still adhering to these time-tested values of kindness, integrity, and transparency. They’re just using new tools to do it.
Hi Elizabeth- You are an articulate and gracious spokesperson for the potential of social media. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
Matt